Message: “How Can I Fix A Broken Relationship” from Dr. Rick & Judy Mandl

Dr. Rick & Judy Mandl - May 9, 2020

Where is God in My Family?

Watch
Listen

Sermon Manuscript: Where Is God Message 6- Where Is God In My Home? (Mother’s Day Message)
Sermon preached by Dr. Rick & Judy Mandl , Eagle Rock Baptist Church, May 9 & 10, 2020
Recorded in Los Angeles, CA.

In any year, Mother’s Day is a day met with a variety of emotions. It can be a happy day for those who get to spend it with their mothers, or moms with their children with whom they have good relationships. It can be a bittersweet day for those who remember with full hearts other Mother’s Days spent with those who are no longer with us. It can be a day filled with longing for those who desire to be a mom but have not had that opportunity. It can be a painful day for those who have miscarried, or lost a child, or lost their mother. It can be a day filled with regret for those who are estranged from their mother or their child. This year, it seems even more complicated as traditional gatherings are replaced by zoom meetings and FaceTime conversations, and families are separated from those they love, especially their most senior members. I don’t know your emotions as you come to worship today, but I know the One who does. Let’s go to Him in prayer. [PRAY]

Today as we continue our “Where Is God?” series because it’s Mother’s Day weekend, we are going to consider the question “Where is God in my family?” Like most of the other questions in this series, the first answer is going to sound somewhat familiar.

He is with you (no matter what your home/family looks like) and He wants to make you part of a bigger family

And what I mean by that is he wants to invite you into an eternal home with Him. Over the past few weeks we’ve hit the first part of this point pretty hard, because it is so important. Where is God? He is with you in any, and every circumstance in your life. Look at these verses from Isaiah 42:5-6, "God, the Lord, created the heavens and stretched them out. He created the earth and everything in it. He gives breath to everyone, life to everyone who walks the earth. And it is he who says, “I, the Lord, have called you to demonstrate my righteousness. I will take you by the hand and guard you..."

As followers of Jesus Christ, we have a God who takes us by the hand. That’s how closely He walks with us. He’s holding us by the hand. He’s holding us by the hand whether we are widowed, or married, or single. He’s present with us, whether we have a full-house, or an empty-nest. He is watching over us, without regard to whether our family of origin was happy, or dysfunctional, or non-existent. God is with you right now, He will be with you when you turn off your device and go about your day. He will be with you tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. He’s with you when you are full of joy And He’s with you when you are weeping. He’s with you when you acknowledge His presence. And He’s with you when you feel abandoned.

He will never leave you. He wants you to rest in that fact. God is with us, and His presence is enough. But God, in His grace and mercy toward us, calls us into a relationship with others. Sometimes, that is a biological relationship, but beyond that, He calls us into a familial relationship with the other members of His forever family. This is what Paul tells us in Ephesians chapter 2 when he writes. . . “So you are no longer outsiders and strangers. You are citizens together with God’s people. You are also members of God’s family.” When you enter into a relationship with Jesus Christ, you become a child of God, and in the process you gain brothers and sisters all over the world. We need to cultivate those family relationships.

One of the high points of my week, is when we get together as a Life Group. Here’s a picture of our Life Group. This isn’t the entire group, but it is pretty close - 19 of 21. Life Group has been different these last past weeks, as we’ve been meeting via Zoom, instead of meeting in person. But there are actually some advantages. Maybe it’s because on those evenings when you might be running a little bit late in terms of all the things that you had to get done before Life Group… Getting the family fed, or the homework done. At those times it can be tempting to figure, “I’m already running late, I don’t want to drive to Life Group, because I’ll probably arrive half-way through the meeting. For some reason that’s not been a problem when we’ve been meeting online. We have folks dropping in and out at different times and we’re just so glad to have them there at all, regardless of when they arrive or when they have to leave. Also, meeting by Zoom allows us to connect with members of our group who are travelling - members who are out of state. One of the guys in our group, Carlos, has been joining us each week, for the past three weeks from Iowa. And it’s been great to reconnect with him. I appreciate everyone in our group.

Tracy Johnson is another member of our life group, and one thing I especially appreciate about Tracy is, when he addresses something to our Life Group, he often starts with, “Hey Family!” Tracy is constantly reminding us that we are brothers and sisters. We belong to each other. God is with us. He welcomes us into His forever family. And the eternal home He is preparing for us is beyond anything we could conceive of in our wildest imagination. It is a place where there is no sorrow, no sickness, no death, and no dysfunction. A place where we will live in harmony forever with other family members from all nations, and from all time. Listen to this description by the Apostle John of his vision of our eternal home from Revelation chapter 7.

John writes. . . "After this I saw a vast crowd, too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. They were clothed in white robes and held palm branches in their hands. And they were shouting with a great roar, 'Salvation comes from our God who sits on the throne and from the Lamb!'" God is with you. If you are a follower of His, He has made you a member of His family, and He is preparing a forever home where we will live together with Him for all eternity.

The second answer to the question, “Where is God in my family?” is

He is giving me guidelines for healthy relationships.

Sometimes we are unhappy with our homes and our families. We feel like we’ve been dealt a bad hand, and we question where God is in all of it, when the reality is, we have disregarded His plan for how our family, and relationships in general should work. The Bible gives some pretty specific instructions about the family. It tells us that it should be based on a faithful marriage relationship between a man and a woman who love one another, mutually submit to one another, and who are willing to make sacrifices for one another. Marriage is God’s plan for the foundation of the family.

The Bible also tells us that parents are supposed to model for their children what it looks like to follow Jesus. Look at these verses from Deuteronomy 6, "And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today." Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.

Notice what these verses are saying to the adults: YOU must love the Lord your God. YOU must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands. YOU must teach them to your children, over and over, throughout all the activities of the day. It starts with you, moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles. You love God, you follow Him, and you teach the next generation by words and example what it means to walk with God. The Bible tells children to obey their parents, and to honor their father and mother. It also tells parents not to exasperate their children, don’t be unpleasable. Train your children, but differentiate between what is merely childish behavior and what is disobedience or defiant behavior. Exercise grace, just as God exercises grace toward us.

The Bible also gives guidelines for healthy relationships in and beyond the nuclear family. They are contained in the “one anothers” of the scripture. Honor one another. Be devoted to one another. Look out for one another. Pray for one another. Encourage one another. Do good to one another. Don’t lie to one another. Be kind to one another. Be patient with one another. Be hospitable to one another. Bear one another’s burdens. Give preference to one another. Forgive one another. Love one another.

What would our relationships, our families, and our homes be like if we actually did those things? My guess is, as I read that list there were one or two things that jumped out to you. And you thought, “Man, if my spouse, child, parent, roommate, friend would only do that for me, everything would be so much better!” That was my first thought too! But that’s not God’s intention in giving us these commands. His intention is that we would look at them and say, “What area do I need to grow in so that my relationships will be what God wants them to be?” Do I need to be less self-absorbed, and instead look out for others? Do I need to be less critical and instead encourage others? Do I need to be more patient, instead of so quick tempered?

God gives us these instructions in His Word so that we will obey them, because in obeying them, we will honor Him, and have the most satisfying human relationships. But we need to do more than just listen to the Bible in a sermon on the weekend, or give it a quick read in the morning. We need to put it into action. Look at these words from James 1 in the Message version. "Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, He says, that person . . . is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action." When we act on God’s Word, we will find delight in the action.

I’d encourage you to look over that list of one anothers again. Take a few minutes to honestly evaluate which one or ones you struggle with most - if you struggle with all of them, just pick one or two - you’ve got to start somewhere. Remember, I said the ones you struggle with most - I didn’t ask you to point out which ones the people around you struggle with. Pick one or two and ask God to help you to grow in that area, and then look for opportunities to exercise those relationship muscles in the weeks ahead. As we follow God’s guidelines for relationships that honor Him, I believe we will experience His presence to a greater and greater degree in our homes. When we consider this particular “Where is God? Question, there’s an element to consider that is a little different than in some of the other questions, and that is the area of personal responsibility.

Where is God in my home?

He is challenging me, to make Him, the center of my home.

Let’s look at an example of this from Joshua 23 & 24. A few weeks ago we looked at an earlier incident in Joshua’s life when, as the relatively new leader of the people of Israel, he failed to seek God’s counsel and got the people entangled in a treaty they should not ever have entered into. Now, as Joshua’s life draws to an end, he calls all the people of Israel together to give them some final words. He reminds them of what God has done for them in giving them the land He had promised, and he instructs them to continue to follow God. Take a look at his words. . . “So be very careful to follow everything Moses wrote in the Book of Instruction. Do not deviate from it, turning either to the right or to the left” (Joshua 23:6). “Cling tightly to the Lord your God as you have done until now” (Joshua 23:8). “So be very careful to love the Lord your God” (Joshua 23:11).

Then Joshua reminded them again of how God has kept His promises to Israel. “Now behold, today I am going the way of all the earth, and you know in all your hearts and in all your souls that not one word of all the good words which the Lord your God spoke concerning you has failed: all have been fulfilled for you, not one of them has failed” (Joshua 23:14). And Joshua went on to say that just as all the good things God had promised had come to pass, the warnings God gave for failure to put Him first, and to obey His commands, would also come to pass. Joshua said there are positive consequences for clinging to God, loving Him, and obeying Him, and there would be negative consequences for disobeying God and for following the gods of the culture around them. He ended by issuing this challenge: “So fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord alone. But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:14-15).

God has given us instructions for how to have a healthy personal life, a healthy home life, and healthy relationships. Listen to what God told Joshua at the beginning of his time as leader of Israel: "Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." This is not a guarantee of material and financial success, it is a guarantee of success in God’s economy: bringing glory to Him, being a wise leader, laying up treasure for eternity, positive relationships.

And the bottom line in obeying God’s Word is: put God first. Love God most. Remember Jesus’ answer to the lawyer who asked Him what the greatest commandment was? “Jesus replied, ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment” (Matthew 22:37-38). Love God, that’s the primary command - and the way we show our love for God is by obeying Him. If we do not obey Him, we will not reap the benefits that come from living the way He designed us to live.

And then Jesus said there’s. . . “A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Love our neighbors as ourselves. Paul expanded on this commandment to love in Romans 13: "Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God’s law. For the commandments say, “You must not commit adultery. You must not murder. You must not steal. You must not covet.” These—and other such commandments—are summed up in this one commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law" (Romans 13:8-10).

Joshua challenged the people to decide: Who are you going to serve? Who are you going to love? Who are you going to follow? And God issues us a similar challenge today. If you want to know where God is in your home or where He is in your family, you also have to ask yourself - Where am I allowing Him to be? I’m not saying that God is weak and can only go where you let Him. God can go anywhere He wants, and He already is present everywhere. But God is a gentleman, and He generally waits for an invitation. Have you invited Him into your home and into your family life? Is He the center of your home, or is He an accessory to your life? Is pleasing God a priority, or is it a consideration only when it is convenient? Who are you going to serve? Who are you going to worship? The gods of this world: money, fame, power, self-interest. Or the one true God. God wants to be the center of your life, of your home, of your family, and of all your relationships. Choose today who you are going to serve.

As we close today I want to address those of you who might be listening to the message today and thinking, “But you don’t know my home. You don’t know my background. No one ever taught me to be a good husband, wife, mother, father, friend - you fill in the blank. I didn’t have good role models. My family is a mess, and I’m a product of my environment. If that’s you, there’s something God wants you to know. The generational cycle of dysfunction can stop with you. You may not be able to change your history, but God can change your future. . . And through you, your family’s future, and maybe even your extended community’s future. It’s not easy. It means being intentional about how you live and the choices you make. It means being aware when you are falling into destructive or unhealthy patterns of behavior. It means being willing to change course. It’s not easy, But with God’s help, it is possible. God is saying to you, let me be the boss of your life, and of your family. Surrender yourself to me. Put me first, and let me take care of the rest.

Where is God in your home? He’s with you. He’s showing you how to have the best relationships possible on this side of heaven. And He’s challenging you to put Him first. Let’s ask Him to help us do that today. Would you pray with me . . .