Message: “Love Doesn’t Keep Score” from Dr. Rick Mandl

Devotional Manuscript: Love Doesn’t Keep Score
By Dr. Rick Mandl, October 1, 2020 at Eagle Rock Baptist Church
Recorded in Los Angeles, CA.

Hey church family. One of the best definitions of love that you can find is the one given by the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 and verses 4 through 8. There Paul writes, "Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." Within that description, the phrase I want to zero in on today is that one in verse 5, where it says, “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” That phrase begs the question for us as Christians, as to how we deal with the hurts we suffer, without “keeping a record of wrongs?”

I was recently reminded of the analogy of Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown and encouraging him to run up and kick it. That particular comic seems to be a classic, that shows up every football season. Charlie Brown practicing his place kicking, and Lucy holding the football. And if you’re familiar with the comic strip, you know how it goes . . . Every time Lucy held the ball for Charlie Brown the same thing would happen. Charlie Brown would approach the ball, and with all his might was ready to kick the ball to the end of the field. But at the exact moment, the point of no return, Lucy would pick up the ball. Charlie would kick with all his might, and his unchecked momentum would cause him to fall flat on his back. As I said, it was a classic, so you’d see the scenario repeated year after year.

One strip opened with Lucy holding the ball, but Charlie Brown refusing to kick it. Lucy begged. But Charlie Brown was adamant in his refusal. Charlie Brown said, “Every time I try to kick the ball you move it and I fall on my back.” The next few frames had them going back and forth for the longest time. Finally Lucy broke down in tears and confessed, “Charlie Brown I have been so terrible to you over the years, picking up the football like I have. I have played so many cruel tricks on you, but I’ve seen the error of my ways! I’ve seen the hurt look in your eyes, when I’ve deceived you. I’ve been wrong, so wrong. Won’t you give a poor penitent girl another chance?” And as you’d expect, Charlie Brown was touched by her apparent sincerity, and moved by her display of sorrow. “Of course,” said Charlie Brown, “I’ll give you another chance." So Charlie Brown steps back. Lucy holds the ball. And Charlie Brown ran, ready to kick with all his might. Once again, at the last possible moment, Lucy picked up the ball and Charlie Brown fell flat on his back.

In the final frame the Peanuts creator, Charles Schulz, has Lucy saying, “Recognizing your faults and actually changing your ways are two different things, Charlie Brown!” In that scenario, that I described, “Everybody in the world knows that Lucy is going to move the football away at the last second. . . Everybody, that is, except for one person — Charlie Brown. He forgives Lucy every time. He continues to believe in her. And as a result he continues to place himself in a position to be hurt.” So what is Charlie Brown and the rest of us to do? How do we deal with the reality of others’ hurtful actions and yet practice 1 Corinthians 13:5, of love not keeping score?

Let me suggest three things. (1) Love doesn’t minimize the seriousness of sin. It’s not saying, “Oh, it was no big deal. It really didn’t hurt. Forget it.” On the contrary, sin hurts. When we are wounded by the wrong doings of others, it is disingenuous to say, “no problem.” Sin should be admitted. Corrected. And repented of. Love doesn’t overlook, whitewash, or diminish others trespasses against us. (2) Love isn’t resuming a relationship without changes. Forgiveness is not the same as restoring a relationship. Forgiveness ought to be instant. But trust - - - Trust is something that needs to be built over a long period of time. Forgiveness is a salve to begin healing, but it doesn’t remove the scars. Nor does it demand that we continue to allow ourselves to be hurt again and again.

For instance, a treasurer who embezzles money from the church treasury, could genuinely repent of sin, ask forgiveness and be restored to fellowship. However, that church would find another Treasurer. (3) Love isn’t forgetting what happened. We’ve all heard the cliche’ “forgive and forget.” That’s the “dumb thing Christians say” that we’ll be looking at this weekend. But to forgive and forget isn’t really possible. Did you ever try to forget something? When you are trying to forget it, what are you focusing on? You’re focusing on the very thing you’re trying to forget!

This weekend we’ll see that we are commanded to forgive. But we’re not commanded to forget. Forgiveness is a non-negotiable. Trust has to be earned. In some cases a restoration of the relationship is possible In other’s it’s not. Charlie Brown can apply 1 Corinthians 13:5 without becoming bitter.. Without holding a grudge… And without seeking to even the score. But he doesn’t have to allow Lucy to hold the football next year. That’s not keeping a record of wrongs, that’s recognizing someone you can’t trust. Praying that we would have the wisdom and grace to know the difference. Amen.

Recorded in Los Angeles, CA.

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